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First there was love, then loss, then betrayal and finally, to top the mountain of abominable acts, I betrayed. Perhaps I should focus on the present. On the answer. On waking up. On moving. Looking down, I see the muscle that has atrophied into nonexistence, I see the bone that withered flesh covers, calcium deposits long since depleted. A shattered remnant of a body. I know that if I could see my face I would be horrified at the sunken depth of my eye sockets, at the thinness of my hair and the skeleton-like qualities I have taken on so greedily to end the pain within my soul. I know I must choose. Power or continued pain. The feeling of the universal creation flowing through my body would be as sweet as any kiss, as intoxicating as any liquor, yet I fear it. I fear what temptations I would have, I could undo the separation. I could heal myself. Become whole. Yet, within my soul, I know that that option is not. The flow of self-depreciating sadness moving across each numb nerve. You and Deputy Cantrell will be called to testify at that trial. Tiny will lose, and we'll take any assets he has and garnishee his wages to the fullest extent of the law to satisfy the damages awarded. The press in this town, such as it is, will have a field day with the trial. That's number one. Number two, Larry has some medical bills he can't pay. Tiny has to pay them. Number three, Tiny has to stand in front of Larry and me, describe what he did to Larry, admit to the crimes he committed as an officer of the law, and then apologize. My attorney will be present for the apology; the apology will be recorded, and Sheriff, if the apology isn't sincere and honest, all bets are off." Holy molly, Coach! You are a hard man." He paused; I could hear the deep breath he took. "Okay. I'll talk to Tiny and call you back. I will say this. If he refuses your deal, I'll fire his fat ass."I laughed. "I'm happy then with either way it goes. How's Mary Tendoy?" I knew you would ask me about her,.
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